Comfort In Suffering
by disarmyouwithasmile
Summary: This story contains current spoilers and possibly future spoilers and is based purely on what I thinkwant to happen with MerDer in the season finale “Deterioration of the Fight or Flight Response” and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

_Okay so first fan fiction…ever and the last time I have written a story was when I was forced to in the seventh grade…so yeah enough said about that. This story contains current spoilers and is based purely on my speculations of what I think/want to happen with Mer/Der in the season finale "Fight or Flight" and beyond._

_Disclaimer: The only thing I own related to this show is the season one DVD, however I am in negotiations with Patrick Dempsey to purchase his hair._

It had been six months since Derek had chosen Addison over Meredith, yet somehow he had still considered her "his"…not that she ever was really his to claim and he knew that, but still he always thought that one day if he ever changed his mind and decided he wanted Meredith back, she'd be there wanting for him with open arms. Yes, Derek Shepherd was a stupid, stupid man.

It had been six months since Meredith realized that her McDreamy was no longer well…_her _McDreamy, yet somehow she had still never considered moving on until now. I mean it's not as if she thought he'd change his mind and decide he wanted her back, and she'd waiting there with open arms…right? Yes, Meredith Grey was a woman still very much in denial.

Two. That's the number of weeks Meredith had been dating Finn Dandridge, who happened to be her dog's vet. For only two weeks of dating, Meredith thought things were going quite well considering the circumstances…you know…with the tiny detail of still being madly in love with her ex-boyfriend, who also happened to be her boss…and close "friend". Yes, considering these circumstances things have been going very well.

Three. That's the number of times Derek had walked up to Meredith's front door, attempted to knock and had run back into his silver car to build up the courage get her back. Each time he had walked up to her front steps he had come up with a reason to turn around and go home. The first time he changed his mind because she _may _have been sleeping. The second time he changed his mind because she _might_ not be home, despite the fact that her car was parked right next to his, and the third time Derek figured she might have company and it would be rude to disturb her.

"This is ridiculous" Derek thought to himself as he stepped out his car for what hopefully would be the last time tonight.

Derek slowly approached the glass door and rapped lightly on it. After two minutes had past and there was still no answer, Derek started to turn to walk away just as the door started to open. Derek whipped around flashing the McDreamiest smile he could make, only to realize that the blue eyes he was staring into didn't belong to the love of his life, but to none other than his dog's vet. Okay so Derek was right the third time…she certainly did have company. "Well maybe it's not what it looks like" Derek thought to himself, "Maybe Finn came over to talk about Doc…with his shirt off…and a towel wrapped around his waist, or maybe he was walking down the street minding his own business when suddenly he tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and fell straight into a muddy puddle and needed to use Meredith's shower". This story could have been somewhat feasible if what came next…well didn't.

"Babe, did you answer the door yet?" Meredith said as she turned the corner and stood face to face with a man that in any other circumstance she would be thrilled to see.

"Derek, what are you doing here?"

"fight or flight…fight or flight" Derek slowly repeated in his head while giving her an awkward smirk.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_okay so I have two other chapters to post...however I won't post them unless I get lots of reviews...I'm kidding...I don't care about reviews. The next chapters will added some time today...or when I can figure how to actually add the chapters : )_


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the second chapter...Thanks to AlotLikeMeredith for telling me how to add a chapter : )

* * *

At this very moment Derek could name probably just about a thousand places he would rather be standing than in Meredith's foyer with a half naked veterinarian, about to declare his love for her. 

"I just came to talk to you about something, but clearly this isn't my best timing" Derek said pretending to be completely okay with this situation.

"Oh, right, um…Derek you know Finn obviously …um Finn do you mind giving Derek and I a minute to talk?"

"Sure no problem, Mer…I'll just go upstairs and wait for you. Nice seeing you again Derek"

"right…yeah…nice seeing you too" replied Derek with a tone in his voice that was more than a little disappointed.

Finn walked up the stairs to Meredith's room leaving the two of them to talk.

"Derek, you know I was planning on telling you about me and him but I just wanted to wait until it became more serious, you understand right?"

"yeah, I understand…I think I should go"

"Wait, now that we're alone why don't you tell me what you wanted when you came here" Meredith said trying not to sound too curious.

"No, I'll wait until a better time…just go back to whatever it was you were doing" _ Did those words actually just come out of my mouth…seriously?…go back to what you were doing…great._

"Derek what is with you?" she asked chuckling

"Look…just meet me outside your locker room tomorrow and we'll finish this conversation"

"You consider this a conversation…seriously?"

"Bye Meredith" Derek said with what was his first genuine smile of the night.

"See ya"

The next morning Derek sat up in bed trying to think of how he could tell Meredith he wanted her back. Now that Finn was in the picture this didn't exactly make his job easier.

"So McDreamy is actually okay with you dating the vet?" Christina said acting overly amused by Meredith's newest problem.

"Why wouldn't he be? I mean he has a wife, it's not as if he's pining after me…he dumped me, remember?"

"A little sensitive about the issue, are we?" Christina mocked

"Shouldn't you be prepping for rounds or something?" Meredith said as she left the locker room.

"Hey, there you are" Derek whispered to her giving her a sexy smile

"Yeah, here I am…so what is it that you wanted to say to me?"

"What's the rush? Let's go for a walk"

"So Mer, how serious are you about this Finn guy?" Derek asked trying to act nonchalant

When Meredith hesitated for over a minute, Derek took this as his cue to make his move. He wasn't sure what came over him but at the moment he wanted nothing more than to kiss her…so he did.

As much as Meredith would hate to admit it she kissed him back with equal if not greater passion than he had intended. Of course that was until she brain actually began to function again and she pulled away smacking him in the arm and yelling "What the hell was that?"

"I'm not even sorry" Derek replied laughing as he walked away causally, looking back once more to give her that infamous smirk.

Meredith stood in that hallway for that seemed like eternity, touching her lips and smiling slightly despite the fact that she was furious with him. _This is going to be a long day. _


	3. Chapter 3

It had been 3 hours and 26 minutes since Derek had kissed her and ran away like a coward. She couldn't stop thinking about it, and the thing was she didn't really mind thinking about it.

She grabbed her charts from the nurse's station and slowly made her way to the elevator, she was too busy reading to realize there was someone else standing in the left corner of it. Of course because fate has it in for her it was Derek. He didn't say a word, instead he just stood right behind her and whispered in her ear:

"You know this obsession with ferryboats is getting a little out of control"

Meredith must have jumped 3 feet in the air.

"Damn Derek, you scared the crap out of me…I practically jumped out of my skin…are you happy now?

"No, however if you almost jumped out of your clothes that would be a different story" Derek said trying hard to keep a straight face.

"Shut up Derek"

"Are you mad at me or something?"

"hmmm…I don't know Derek let's see…first you show up at my house unexpected and ruin my evening with my boyfriend…keyword being boyfriend, then you kiss me in the middle of the hall and run away like you're in the fifth grade and finally you sneak up on me in the elevator and almost give me a heart attack, do you still need me to tell you if I'm mad?"

"Nope…I think I got the just of it" Derek said as he pulled the stop button

"What the hell do you think you're doing"

"Well…I'm trying to win you back…however you aren't making it easy for me"

"Win me back?…Derek you're married…married Derek, have you ended things with Addison?"

"Not exactly, but I'm planning to…I mean Meredith we're coming to terms with the fact that there is nothing left of our marriage"

"You're planning to?…Derek what's the matter with you? Why do you feel the need to screw with me? I'm happy now, I'm moving on and I am on my way to getting over you…this…this isn't fair"

"you wanna know what isn't fair…I'm trying my hardest to be romantic here and you're ruining it for me"

"Derek you aren't being romantic, you're being an ass!"

And with that, Derek forcefully pinned her against the wall of the elevator and kissed her with every fibre of his being. Meredith tried her hardest to fight him, her small hands reached up to his chest and she pushed him away before she did something she may later regret.

"Don't Derek, I'm serious"

Derek leaned his head against the wall with her still pinned and unable to move out of his embrace.

"You want me I know you do, I felt it when I kissed you and I can feel it right now" Derek said as he pressed his lips to her ear

"This isn't about what I want, of course I want you Derek, and I'll want you until the day I die but this…you and me…it can't happen not now and not ever…it's over…we're over."

Derek slowly let go and Meredith walked over to the stop button pushed it, and when the elevator doors opened Meredith walked out, without another word…without another look.


End file.
